Look, we all have that one book. The one that, when you mention it, people either light up with recognition or slowly back away from you like you just said you collect human teeth. Some books are green flags (you read Anne of Green Gables as a kid and now you make homemade candles). Some books are yellow flags (you love Wuthering Heights, but in a way that concerns people). And some books? Big, waving, fire-engine-red flags.
If you see your favorite book on this list, don’t panic—just know that you might need to do a little self-reflection.
🚨 The “I Will Absolutely Gaslight, Gatekeep, and Mansplain” Tier 🚨
📚 Infinite Jest (David Foster Wallace)
If a man has ever cornered you at a party to explain why Infinite Jest is “so misunderstood,” congratulations! You’ve met a walking red flag. This is less a novel and more of a personality test: Did you actually read it? Or do you just want people to think you did?
📖 Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
If someone calls this their “favorite book,” run. The odds that they will attempt to lecture you about personal responsibility, capitalism, and “free markets” are dangerously high. They probably own multiple copies, just in case one gets stolen (by the government, obviously).
🧑⚖️ American Psycho (Bret Easton Ellis)
Yes, we get it—Patrick Bateman is a satirical character. But if you idolize him, you’re missing the point. People who love this book tend to talk about it in a way that makes you double-check if they own an axe.
🔪 The “I Like My Literature as Painful as Possible” Tier 🔪
📚 A Little Life (Hanya Yanagihara)
If someone calls this their favorite book, you need to check on them immediately. This novel is beautiful, sure, but it’s also 500+ pages of unrelenting suffering. If this book made you cry in public, congratulations, you’re human. If you enjoyed that? Concerning.
📖 The Bell Jar (Sylvia Plath)
This is a red flag read, but in a cool way. If you read this as a teenager and it permanently altered your personality, welcome to the club. You probably own too many black turtlenecks, and your Spotify Wrapped is 90% Lana Del Rey and Mitski.
💀 Wuthering Heights (Emily Brontë)
Some people read this and think, What a tragic love story. Others read it and go, Wow, these two are emotionally unhinged and should never have met. If you genuinely think Heathcliff and Cathy are “relationship goals,” you should not be in a relationship.
🫣 The “Why Are You Trying to Impress Me?” Tier 🫣
📚 Ulysses (James Joyce)
Did you actually read Ulysses, or did you skim an annotated version and call it a day? Be honest. This is one of those books people claim to love but never actually finish—which, ironically, is the most relatable thing about James Joyce.
📖 Blood Meridian (Cormac McCarthy)
If this book is your favorite, you definitely have a weirdly in-depth opinion on frontier violence and own at least one knife that you don’t actually use for anything.
🔎 The Brothers Karamazov (Fyodor Dostoevsky)
Another one of those books where people pretend they loved it but secretly wanted to die while reading it. If this is genuinely your favorite book, you are either a philosophy major or someone who makes YouTube essays about “the meaning of suffering.”
💘 The “I Think Love Should Be Toxic” Tier 💘
📚 Twilight (Stephenie Meyer)
It’s not a red flag to have read Twilight. But if you still think Edward and Bella are #relationshipgoals, we need to have a conversation.
📖 Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov)
This is the ultimate book people pretend to “admire” for the writing while completely ignoring the horrifying subject matter. If someone tells you their favorite book is Lolita, ask them why. If they say, “It’s actually a beautiful love story,” slowly back away.
💀 Normal People (Sally Rooney)
If you relate to Normal People, I am so sorry. You probably have terrible texting habits, can’t talk about your feelings, and enjoy suffering just a little too much.
🛑 The “I Have No Red Flags, But I Do Have Opinions” Tier 🛑
If your favorite book is:
- Jane Eyre – You definitely have a thing for brooding, emotionally unavailable men.
- The Picture of Dorian Gray – You’d sell your soul for good lighting and probably collect fancy mirrors.
- The Secret History – You romanticize academia, but only from a safe distance.
- Pride and Prejudice – You love a good slow burn and would absolutely fake-date a man just to ruin his life.
- The Hunger Games – You have strong opinions about dystopian governments and could probably survive the apocalypse.
Final Thoughts: What’s Your Red Flag Book?
So, did we expose you? If you’re feeling personally attacked, good news—you’re in excellent (and deeply unhinged) company.
Drop your biggest red flag read in the comments 👇. And don’t worry—we won’t judge (much).
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